I was more wrong than a vegetarian eating animal crackers.

Today I dragged A. shopping at the local Super Wal-Mart, which is an oxymoron. A., being owly, was adamant about not wanting to go during that wee hours of the morning... Did I listen? Nope. Not me. If I want to do something at a certain time, damn it, I do it. And the men-folk better do what I want when I want them too, don't you feel sorry for my poor honey? Yeah. Me too.

Well, we were wandering through the aisles playing a little game of taking turns whining for too sugary cereal, ice cream, cheezy pizza and such when out of no where... ::insert dramatic rise in music here:: the unavoidable happened. It was big, it was horrifying, it was scary, it was...

SHIM.

The woolly mammoth like creature jiggled its way in front of our cart, lumbering to a slow stop as we came to the end of the aisle. I was aware that Shim had yet to see me, a Ho-Ho display was diverting his/her attention, and scurried to hide behind A. (A. is over 6 feet tall, and my measly little 5 feet 3 inches can be easily hidden behind him). As I scurried, I tripped and fell into A. causing Shim to catch sight of me.

I glanced up at A. and suddenly was reminded of the first time I'd caught sight of Shim and had that "Holy Mother of God, WHAT IS THAT?" look on my face,

We did the polite "Hi," thing and I was forced to introduce A. to Shim. A. stood frozen in terror. He kept on taking horrified glances at me, as if to say, "I don't REALLY have to shake this scary individual's hand????" But he did. And thus the day was filled with the following:

- I can't believe you didn't listen to me about going to Wal-Mart this early!
- I thought you were making Shim up, honestly I did.
- I can't believe you didn't listen to me about going to Wal-Mart this early!
- Is that a guy or a woman, come on, you gotta figure that out!
- I can't believe you didn't listen to me about going to Wal-Mart this early!
- Why the hell did God make someone that ugly? It isn't fair to Shim or the rest of us...
- I can't believe you ran into me, you are such a Klutz. GOD. Why did we come to Wal-Mart this early??

So, I was wrong. I admit it. It happens. A lot, according to A. And that is how I was more wrong than a vegetarian eating animal crackers.

Moire